Totally Freaked Out

This post is not or the faint of heart. I'm not even sure if I can handle it.
You know, I have been doing so well in my detox. Losing wight, feeling great and looking better. I've been doing so well I even decided to up the ante and fly to New York City for Natalia Roses Advanced Detox Training Certification Course. I'm very excited about learning more and training to help others and committing myself to do this has inspired me to follow my plan even better.
I've been feeling so good that I have been slowly adding some sweet fruits back in to my diet. I have missed them so much.
My bowel cleansing routine has been outrageous. I'm eliminating copious amounts both at home with my enemas and with my colon hydrotherapist. I have not been very pleased with this therapist, though. She is a nice girl but not very knowledgeable and I have wanted to find a better one. I looked on Natalia's site the other day and found a new recommendation that is a little closer than the ones in LA, so I decided to give her a try.
I was a little put off the first few minutes in her office. As I was filling out her paperwork, she was munching away on some kind of veggie chips and telling me a little about the process. I told her a little about my routine and she obviously didn't know much about the detox lifestyle. She asked me when I plan to stop it, and she said she would like me to go 2 weeks without an enema. I told her we might not be able to work together after all. She managed to persuade me to give it a try. She has years of experience in colon hydrotherapy and other types of holistic healing. and I had driven all that way and was so looking forward to this experience. So I stayed.
Well, as the session began the usual chunks, mucus and sludge began to travel down the tube and she said "uh oh, do you know what that is?". No I didn't and my other therapist had no idea. "Nesting material", she said "and did you see that?" and "what was that big red mass?" and "girl did you see that bug with the legs?"
I mean, after decades of yo yo-ing between Ehret, raw foods, and juice fasting interspersed with the SAD and junk food and a love for starches; I knew I had parasites, but this. And of course since I had practically threatened to walk out on her I think she was reveling in letting me know how infested I am and what horrible condition my blood must be in. She managed to stop the outflow so I could see up close and personal one of these bugs with the legs and the feet. It was just hanging there upside down with his legs straight up, obviously dead. Oh my god, I can't get it out of my head, I am so freaked about having these things inside of me.
But, I  have to tell you that I cannot believe the huge amount of waste that came out. It must have been gallons. And this after my stomach has flattened and I've lost like 30 pounds in the last year or so. And I asked her didn't she agree that it is a good sign that all of this is coming out and isn't my detox obviously working and killing off these horrible creatures? She did agree with me and she was astonished at the amounts she was getting out of me. She said it looked like I was eliminating shit I'd been hanging on to since 1952. We laughed and had a grand ole time, yuk.
So, the colonic was so successful that I will go back. I may even do the live blood cell imaging thing at one of her events, but I'm still not convinced to do a parasite cleanse. She wants to see my blood so she can suggest which cleanse I should use and she is also sure I have liver flukes or some other horrible thing like that. And i didn't even tell her that I have been suspecting something in my eyes. Oh my, I am freaking.
But, I am sure I have read or heard Natalia say that this lifestyle when done properly is a full body cleanse and doesn't need these herbs and other substances to help it along.
I immediately came home and made another big green juice, and I will definitely not be eating sweet fruits

Letting Go of Addiction

I am an addict.

I have always admitted that I have an addictive personality. I used to like to say that I loved things that start with the letter C. Coffee, chocolate, champagne, chardonay, cabernet, cannabis, cocaine, coitus, to name a few. But I didn't just love them. I was addicted to them. 

Luckily I kicked the cocaine habit quite a while ago, on my own, I have a very strong will when I can just put my mind to it. The cannabis habit was more difficult. I have used it as a crutch off and on since I was a teenager. I did use it to help me kick coke and other habits like cooked dense food. While other people would get the munchies, I would get creative and forget to eat. At least that is what would happen in the beginning. Then I would depend on that creative energy and think I could smoke it every day and achieve that high, but not so. Instead S words would come in to play, like sluggish, slow and stupid. Pot was still a difficult habit to kick. I actually didn't quit on purpose like I did coke. I was well into detox and starving the yeast when I just ran out one day last year and forgot to buy more. My cousin even called me before a family reunion just last month and asked me to get some for us to share. Instead, I got some for her. 

Coitus took care of itself with age.

Now I am left with the really difficult substances.

After a few months of following Detox 4 Women. I was able to replace my 1/2-plus bottle a day champagne habit with chardonay. Obviously I wasn't following the lifestyle very well. But then I replaced the white with cabernet and I am down to 2 bottles of red a week and counting.

I have had a lifetime love affair with chocolate. I used to live on my mom's home made fudge during the holidays. Then as a young adult, I would eat all of the chocolate out of my kids Halloween bags and Easter baskets. It was an addiction that I could control for months at a time until I had that one piece. Then it would be my main diet for days, weeks. Natalia turned me on to dark chocolate, thank goodness. I must admit I have struggled with milk and white chocolate some since this last Christmas but I think I might have that under control now. One day at a time, right?

Coffee.

What can I say?

I didn't even start drinking it until my 30's. I was an herb tea drinking vegetarian until then. Now I have been drinking at least one strong mug of coffee every day for 25 years.

Ehret and Natalia both warned me about it's acidic destructive qualities, but did I listen? No. I only heard their other words like "a tribe in Egypt lived to well over a hundred drinking strong coffee" or "it might not interfere in your first year of detox". In my heart I knew it was not doing my already compromised system any good. That it has been interfering with my attempt to alkalize my tissues. And now, thanks to Ana Ladd-Griffins' post a few days ago, I know it is not just interfering with my detox, but it is actually encouraging yeast and fungal growth.

I am very happy to say that today is day 5 without it. I took Sabina's advice and switched to green tea and hopefully I can transition off of caffeine, soon.

Well, we shall see if all of this admission of many of my faults and shortcomings will prove a help. I actually began this post because I wanted to talk about my addiction to fruit!! Addiction to fruit?? I'll have to save that one for another post.
Love and Light